And You Let Her Go
by Spoby's Little Gold Star
Summary: What if Spencer and Toby got married and had a daughter, but one day Spencer had just had enough? Would Toby try to win her back? -Rated T for Language and because I'm not really sure where I'm taking this story-
1. Prologue

**Hey!**

**So this is a random idea I had. One day I was just like, Holy shit that's a brilliant idea and thus this story came to be. I hope y'all like it because I don't want to have killed my Spoby feels for nothing! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pretty Little Liars or any of the characters, just the plot :) **

**Now, on with the story! **

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><p><em><strong>Prologue:<strong>_

_ It was a dark and stormy night in Philadelphia, PA. There was a particularly loud crash of thunder as Spencer Cavanaugh, formerly Hastings, walked down the stairs of her house after putting her daughter to bed. She was a woman of purpose, and right now, her purpose was getting away from this house. As she was about to turn the door handle and walk out to her already packed car, she heard a noise behind her. _

_ "Spencer?" She heard Toby ask from the couch. She hadn't seen him as she was heading out. _

_ "Damn it." She thought. So much for sneaking off and leaving him with nothing but a note and a few pictures. Pictures from every little thing the two of them had done in the past six years. Starting with their wedding day, to their honeymoon, ending with not too long ago with the picture of their annual end-of-summer picnic with Aria, Hanna, Alison, Emily, and the rest of the gang. _

_ "Toby! I didn't… I didn't think you'd still be down here." She stuttered. Always a problem when faced with pressure. It was all planned out. She'd put Renee to bed, quietly walk downstairs, and get in her car. _

_ "And I didn't think I'd be seeing you walk outside in this weather." He noticed the hurt in her eyes, "Spence? What's wrong?" _

_ This was it, her moment of truth… Unless she didn't want it to end like this. But at this point, her options were slim. She could either lie, and not be able to get on with her life, or tell the truth, and risk making things worse for everyone. _

_ "I'm leaving, Toby." Those three words were the hardest ones she'd ever said in her life. _

_ "You're… What?" _

_ "I'm leaving. I've had enough. I've been planning this for days." She felt the tears burning in her eyes._

_ "Spencer…"_

_ "No, Toby! You don't understand!" She was about to lose it. "And you never will. Tell Renee I love her." She paused with her hand on the door knob, "Goodbye, Toby." _

_ A few moments passed. Toby heard a car door slam, and the sound of that same car's engine roaring to life. The car slowly pulled out of their driveway, with Spencer sobbing behind the wheel. As she drove, she only had one thought. _

_ "I'm never looking back."_

_ After driving almost all night, she finally arrived where she was going. The house where she'd spent her childhood, the awful teenage years, where she'd had countless sleepovers, movie nights, and other bonding time with the girls, a few special moments that she didn't want to think about, but it was home. And this time, she was here to stay. _

_ When she stepped out of the car, a light went on in her parent's bedroom. She walked up to the front door to be greeted by her mother. Even though she'd just seen her mother a few weeks prior, Veronica Hastings was ever the same woman she was while Spencer was in high school. _

_ "Spencer? What are you doing here so late?" She asked as she walked inside._

_ In that moment, Spencer did something she hadn't done in years. Or, at least not since that dreadful night years ago when she discovered Toby was A…_

_ She broke down and cried in her mother's arms. _

_ "I couldn't do it anymore…" She sobbed. _

_ "Couldn't do what, Spencer?" Her mother asked. _

_ "Any of it. I'm not… I'm not fit to be a wife, or a mother." _

_ "Spencer, stop talking crazy. You're doing a wonderful job." _

_ "But I can't handle the pressure! I have to make sure everything's perfect all the time, make sure Renee doesn't get hurt, make sure she's cared for, deal with my own job, and then somehow manage to make sure that I get dinner on the table every night."_

_ "Spencer, honey, I'll let you know that I struggled too the first few years when it was just your father, Melissa and I. But if returning home in the middle of the night is what makes you happiest, I'll allow it… For now."_

_ Spencer vaguely nodded, as she stared at her mother. How was it that this was possibly the same woman who had helped to prove so many court cases, raised two children, and now had three grandchildren? _

_ "Of course, Mom. I love you." With that, Spencer got up from the couch where she was sitting next to her mother, and walked upstairs to her old bedroom. It was still the same as she had left it, and she knew nothing was going to change now. _


	2. Out Here On My Own

**Chapter One: Out Here On My Own**

All of that had happened barely three nights previously. Now, in through the doors of the Rosewood Grille walked a face that was all too familiar. That, of the one and only Spencer Hastings. She had changed significantly since that day, and it wasn't just being back in her hometown. There was a different air about her, one that she hadn't had in several years. As she walked in, heads turned. And one was a face she hadn't seen since she graduated.

"Spencer Hastings?" They asked, as if in disbelief that she'd returned home.

"Mike?" Spencer replied, "You're working here now?"

"Well, part-time anyways." Aria's little brother answered. "Something's gotta help pay the bills."

"And that is a sentence I'd never thought I'd hear you say." Spencer laughed. "How are you?"

"Same old same old." He replied, "What brings you to town? Where are Toby and Renee?"

Spencer froze at the mention of her husband and daughter. She knew people would wonder what brought her back to town without her family, but she wasn't expecting it to happen this soon.

"They're… Erm… Home." She replied quickly.

"Okay then… Have you been to see Aria yet?" Mike said, quickly changing the subject of conversation. Thankfully.

"Not yet. Why?"

"Well, I can just say she'll be happy to see you."

"Mike? What aren't you telling me about Aria?"

"Other than she's getting irritated with being pregnant? Nothing."

"What? When did this happen?"

"This is what happens when you're involved with your own life Spence..."

"Right. Well, I guess I'll see you around." Spencer stood up from the chair where she had sat down.

"I'm just going to give you a piece of advice. Go visit your friends. They need to know what happened."

With a groan, Spencer walked out of the Grille.

Miles away, in Philadelphia, five-year-old Renee Cavanaugh was sitting on her bed crying, while Toby held her in a tight hug. This wasn't the first time this had happened in the past three days. On that dreadful morning afterwards, Toby had woken up in bed alone, wishing it had all been a dream. That same morning, not even three hours later, when he had gone to wake Renee for school, he found his daughter already sitting up in bed. Which sparked the memory. Spencer always woke Renee. The child was distraught, not having her mother there when she woke up.

"Shh honey…" Toby said as he comforted the small girl.

"Why did Mommy leave us?" She whimpered.

"I wish I knew." He released her from the hug and put his hands on her shoulders, "But your mother is going to want you to be strong while she's away. Do you think you can do that for her?"

Renee nodded meekly. "When is she coming home?"

"I don't know sweetie. But she's not going to be happy with me when she finds out I've been letting you stay home from school." Toby sighed. He remembered back in high school when Spencer was always so nit-picky about what time she showed up for school, making sure to arrive with a guaranteed amount of free time before the bell just to make sure she was on time.

Renee got up from her bed and walked over to her dresser. Toby smiled at the small girl, thinking about how much she looked like her mother.

Later that same day, Spencer knocked on the door of the Fitz apartment. It was still strange, even after all these years, to be going to her former teacher's house to visit her best friend. She heard movement from inside the apartment and waited to see Aria open the door.

"Spencer! What are you doing here?" The smaller girl asked.

"Mike said I should come see you." Spencer replied, stepping into the apartment.

"Ah. I see my brother is still up to his old trying to be impressive and a good younger sibling tricks."

" But how are you? Other than being ready to pop at any moment…" The two girls laughed, that same laugh that could've been heard at several of their sleepovers when they were younger.

"Well you know the feeling, of just wanting to have your child but at the same time you're still not quite ready to have that added responsibility of being a mother…"

"I completely understand. The last few months are the worst. But I promise, when Rosaline gets here, it'll be worth it…"

"Spence? Is something wrong?"

"What? No. Nothing. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Aria… I left them."

"You… Spencer! You left Toby and Renee?"

"I had to. I just… Couldn't take the pressure anymore."

"So now what? Are you just going to live with your parents for the rest of your life?"

"No… But I don't know how long I need space for."

"I'm sure Toby will give you as much as you need… It's Renee I'm worried about."

"I know… I'll call later. I promise."

"You better. That child needs her mother."

"Gee thanks Aria. That's all I need right now. My best friend chastising me about my parenting skills."

"Hey, that's what friends are for."


	3. Even Good Things Must Come to an End

**Chapter Two: Even Good Things must come to an end**

It had been two weeks. Two weeks Spencer had been back in Rosewood. Two weeks Toby and Renee had survived, somehow, without her. But all the peace and quiet was about to change.

As Spencer was walking towards the Brew one morning, who else should appear but Jenna. Jenna Cavanaugh. Also known as the blind girl, who'd faked being blind for months. Now she was not only in town, but she was alone. Which only meant one thing.

"Spencer!" Jenna called. Shit. The bitch could see. And not only could she see, but she clearly saw the look of terror that crossed Spencer's face.

"Um, hi Jenna… Why are you back in Rosewood?"

"I was actually looking for you! I went by your house earlier and your mother said I could find you here."

"Oh really..."

"Spencer, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want answers."

"So then I'm assuming you've heard from Toby...?"

"I don't have to have heard from him. If I hear you're back in town without him and my niece then I need to know why."

"Jenna, it's really none of your business…"

"Of course it's my business Spencer! You have no right to break my brother's heart like that."

"You know what? I'm walking away. Right now. I don't need to have this conversation with you."

Spencer turned on her heel and walked away, just as Jenna yelled after her.

"You're going to regret this Spencer!"

Not turning around, she replied.

"So what if I do? Then we'll see what happens."

She turned back towards Jenna, and continued her walk towards the Brew. When she walked in, she was greeted with cries of joy.

"Spencer!" The voices all screamed in unison. Suddenly, she was wrapped in a tight group hug.

"Guys... Can't... Breathe..."

"Oops, sorry Spence." Hanna said.

"It's fine, Han." She looked at the odd assembly of her friends. "So was this a set up, or merely coincidence?"

Alison looked sheepishly at the floor.

"A set up... But I promise. We're not going to make you answer anything you don't want to."

"And Aria? Did she make you all do this?"

"Well," Emily said, "Yes and no. She told us you were back in town, alone. Your mom contacted all four of us this morning, and figured we'd be able to get a real answer of what happened out of you."

"Wow. Tell her thanks for nothing. I'm not answering any more questions about what happened. I told her, and that was the truth."

"Spence, she's worried about you. All of us are. We know what happens when you're… Um…" Hanna paused, not knowing what to say next. But it was the truth. None of the girls knew how to comfort Spencer, nor did they know whether or not to bring up things which had happened so long ago in high school.

"Han, you can say when I'm away from Toby. It's fine." Spencer walked over to the table where the girls had been sitting. "Now please tell me someone remembered to order me a drink because I'm not in the mood to wait in line." 

Alison handed her a coffee cup, and Spencer gladly accepted it. After her morning thus far, this was exactly what she had needed.

She had woken up that morning to three missed calls, seven text messages, four emails, and even a Facebook message from Toby. All of them said generally the same thing. Eventually, she'd just given up and turned off her phone.

"So you guys, you'll never guess what happened!" Hanna exclaimed proudly, then did a dramatic pause. "Caleb… Proposed!"

"Oh my god! Hanna! That's amazing!" Emily said. Of the group, Emily had always been the romantic, and when it came to others love lives, she was always the most excited about new relationships. Granted, when your first girlfriend dies, then your second one moves, and your third, current, and hopefully final one just so happens to be your best friend who returned from the dead, you learn a few things about love.

"I totally wasn't expecting it. But it was perfect… We went out for a nice dinner-" Hanna paused again, seeing Spencer's face, "Spence, I won't talk about this if you don't want me to."

"No, Hanna, it's fine. Carry on."

"Alright. So where was I? Right…"

_It was a perfect July day. Not too hot, but at the same time it was still warm enough to be considered summer in Rosewood. Being the type of people they were, Spencer and Toby had met in the park for a picnic. _

"_Are we really doing this? Picnics are so cliche." Spencer jokingly said. _

"_Believe me Spence, with the way things have played out, a few cliches in your life is the least of your worries." _

_The couple sat with not a care in the world for several hours, until the sun went down. Somehow during the day, they had moved from sitting across from each other, to sitting next to each other, to laying down, to eventually just full on cuddling. As the sun finished setting and a few single stars appeared, it suddenly began to pour. _

_"TOBY! Why didn't you check the weather!?" Spencer shrieked. _

_"I thought you were doing that?" He laughed. _

_"Well I guess we were both wrong!" _

"_I'm kidding Spencer." From the picnic basket, Toby pulled an umbrella. _

"_You always just know, don't you." She smiled, and he put his arm around her. _

_The two hurriedly ran down the road back to Spencer's car. On the short, yet not too short, drive back to Toby's apartment, they stopped suddenly, and got out of the car._

" _Do you remember what's significant about this spot?" Toby asked. _

"_There are a million different answers to that, Toby." _

"_This is where, all those years ago, when you found out Mona was A… I told you that pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I'd ever done." _

_Spencer smiled at the memory. "Is there more to this story? Or were you just trying to bring us back to high school again?" _

"_Believe me, there's more. That same night, it was discovered that Maya St. Germain was dead. I made a promise to myself then and there that I'd never let you go again. Now, here we are, still alive, still well, ten years later. A is gone. You graduated at the top of your class from UPenn."_

_"Toby, if this story has a point, can you please get to it? I'm freezing, and it's July."_

"_Of course, my love." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. "Alright, here goes nothing." He got down on one knee, "Spencer Diana Hastings. From the minute you first set foot into my life, there was something about you. I fell in love right from the start. Now…" He paused for a breath, "Will you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honor of becoming my wife?" _

_Spencer gasped when he opened the box. _

"_Yes. Yes. Yes Toby, I will."_

_He stood up from where he was kneeling, and put the ring on her finger. _

"_You had me worried there for a minute, Spence." _

"_Why on earth would I refuse to marry you?"_

_"I have…"_

"Spencer? SPENCER!" Hanna yelled as Spencer snapped out of her fantasy.

"What Hanna?" 

"Did you hear me ask you if you wanted to be one of my bridesmaids?"

"What? Oh yeah. Yeah I did. I will." 

"Why do I have the feeling Spencer was off in Toby land?" Ali joked.

"I was not…" Spencer replied, her face turning several shades of scarlett.

"Spence, you don't have to deny it. Your eyes glazed over as soon as Hanna began her story about last night."

"Fine! I was thinking about when Toby proposed! Okay? Are you happy now Alison?"

"Geeze Spence, no need to yell at me. I was just asking."

Spencer stood up. "Well Ali, you've won whatever brilliant game you were playing."

"I wasn't playing any games with you Spencer! Emily, back me up on this one."

"It's true, Spence. Ali was just being nice."

"Well maybe I'm not in the mood for Ali's 'being nice' right now."

"Spencer! We get that you're hurting. But are you really going to push your best friends away and spend the rest of your life curled up on your parent's couch with a carton of Ben and Jerry's?" Hanna said, giving Spencer a look. The same look she gave whenever she disapproved of something.

"Hanna, I'm not pushing you away! I just can't stand to sit here and listen to you relive your engagement when I'm here having just left my husband!"

As if on cue, the door opened to reveal Caleb.

"I heard the entire story." He said as he walked towards the girls. "Toby called last night when we got home. Spencer, why would you do that to your child?"

"Why is no one thinking about _me _here? In case you haven't realized, I'm the one who was under enough stress to walk out on my family."

"We know. And that's why we're trying to help you." Emily said as she walked over to put an arm around Spencer's shoulder.


	4. And Life Has A Funny Way

**Chapter Three: Say You Love Me **

Renee Marie Cavanaugh hadn't had much of a normal childhood. She burst into the world three weeks early, spent most of her first couple months of life at doctor's appointments to make sure her and her mother were both okay, and now, six years into her little life, her mother had left her and her father alone.

Every night since Spencer had left, Renee would sneak out of bed and go sit in the bay window at the front of their house. She would watch the road, and hope that every car that went past was her mother's. When she realized that none of them were, she would sadly crawl back into bed, and promptly cry herself to sleep. Then, in the morning, she would be woken by her father and began crying again because Spencer had not returned home.

On this particular night, as she was sitting in that same window, she saw a familiar car pull into the driveway.

"Toby Cavanaugh, you better be able to tell me what the hell you did to my sister." She heard her Aunt Melissa's voice carry up the stairs.

"How about we stop talking about what I did or didn't do, and focus on why she left in the first place?" Her father replied.

"Whether you did anything or not, the point is I now have a motherless niece and a brother-in-law that's slowly going insane while his wife is back living with her parents."

"Wait- She went back to Rosewood?"

"See, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to find Spencer. She's smart, but sometimes she doesn't make the smartest choices."

"Melissa, you know what this means, right?"

"What, that you're going home and leaving Renee with me? I have my own children to deal with Toby."

"No... Not that at all. Melissa, what if you bring Renee with you to Rosewood and just let Spencer see her?"

"Toby, that's not a good idea. When I talked to Spencer this morning, she... Well she said she didn't want to see you for a long time, and to not mention this to Renee."

Renee gasped silently from her spot at the top of the stairs. Her mommy didn't want her to know where she was? And she didn't want to see daddy?

"Melissa. Renee already knows something's up. Clearly she was struck with the smart bug."

"Well... Spencer doesn't want to involve her in this."

"She's her daughter! Is being home turning her back into one of Alison's minions?"

"Toby! I don't know what happened between you and Spencer because neither one of you is talking, but that is no way to talk about her."

"Melissa, it's irrelevant to the situation what happened."

"No, it's not! And Spencer doesn't know that I'm here telling you this. But she did tell me to call and say to stop trying to contact her. She'll get in contact when she has her head on straight."

"When'll that be? Days? Weeks? Months? Years? Does she not realize that I need her here right now?" His voice cracked. When Renee heard this, she knew this was her time to make sure he was okay.

"Daddy?" She said in a small voice from the top of the stairs.

"What is it sweetie?"

"I had the dream again and I can't sleep."

"Well, I guess you're awake now. Come downstairs and say hello to your aunt."

Renee carefully walked down the stairs and then ran over to her favorite aunt.

"Oof!" Melissa said as Renee wrapped her in a tight hug, "Why do I have the feeling you were never actually asleep little one?"

Renee put one finger to her lips and said "Shh," a gesture Toby was all too familiar with.

"How are you Renee?"

"I'm okay Auntie Melissa. I miss mommy though."

"Of course you do sweetheart. That'd be expected of anyone."

"Why doesn't she want to see me?" Renee asked in a small voice.

"Oh honey… Your mommy is trying to figure some things out right now. But I promise you she'll be home soon."

"In time for Christmas?"

Melissa glanced at Toby. They didn't know when Spencer was going to get her act together. Nor did they want to get Renee's hopes up.

"I don't know. But we're going to let her come back when she's ready, alright?"

Renee nodded, feeling the tears well up in her eyes. She let go of Melissa, and walked over to the couch where Toby was sitting, holding the blanket she knew her mother wrapped herself up in whenever it was cold outside, or even when the three of them were just curled up on the couch watching TV.

"Daddy?" Renee looked up at her father with her large eyes. Melissa saw the look shared between father and daughter and knew what she had to do.

"Alright. I'll make you a deal here… I'll take Renee for a few days, and try and weasel it out of Spencer what really happened, _if_, and only if, you try and sort things out with Spencer, not for me, not for you, but for Renee's sake."

Toby nodded as Melissa walked over and picked up Renee.

"Now let's get you back in bed. You've got a big day tomorrow little one."

As she turned to walk up the stairs with a drowsy Renee balanced on her hip, she looked back at Toby.

"Promise me, Toby, that no matter what happens, no matter how long it takes you to work this out, you'll remember those vows that you and my sister made to each other six years ago."


	5. What Hurts The Most

**Chapter Four: What Hurts The Most**

The day began like any other. Spencer woke up at 8:00 sharp, checked her phone to make sure she hadn't missed anything important, not that there was anything of much interest, as she had explained the situation to work already. She walked down the stairs, a journey she had made more than seven thousand times in the past twenty-eight years, and made herself a cup of black coffee. She never added anything to it, it ruined the effect.

The phone rang. Absent mindedly, Spencer answered it, without bothering to check the number first.

"Hello?" She said, and then, she remembered why it was always a good idea to check the caller id.

"Spencer?" She heard Toby's voice from the other end. This day had just gone from normal to terrible in the course of two minutes.

"Toby. I thought you would've gotten the hint and stopped calling."

"I did it's just… I needed to hear your voice one last time…"

"Why do I feel like there's some greater reasoning behind you deciding to call my mother's house phone rather than my cell phone and letting it go to voicemail?"

"Spencer, just listen to me."

"Fine! You have five minutes to explain yourself Toby, before I hang up this phone."

"Okay… Spencer, listen to me. I get that you probably had some deep, ulterior motive for going back to Rosewood. But that doesn't mean we don't need you here. Renee's heartbroken, she's an emotional mess. That child needs her mother, Spence." He paused, and took a deep breath. "Melissa came by last night. She's watching Renee for a few days. But she told me… That we needed to work things out."

Spencer glared at the phone in her hand. Curse Melissa! Her sister was always trying to one-up her, now she was going to try and save her marriage?

"I don't care that you don't want to see me Spencer. I'm coming to Rosewood the first chance I get because I don't know why you left. And you're not telling anyone… So, if not for me, and not for you, but for Renee, we need to work this out."

"No, Toby." Spencer spoke, "You can't do that."

"Spencer…"

"Forget it. I'll let you know what's happening." She promptly hung up the phone, and walked over to the couch. Flopping down, she proceeded to curl up in a ball and fall back asleep.

Several hours later, she woke up, disoriented and groggy, to Emily making popcorn in the microwave.

"Em? What're… What're you doing here?"

"I got a call from Hanna, who spoke to Caleb, who heard from Toby… Apparently you sounded really upset when you hung up on him."

Spencer groaned. "Never underestimate the power of a good bromance. I'm fine, Emily, if you want to go home."

"No can do Spence. Apparently they're making me keep you hostage in your own home because Melissa's coming over… With Renee."

"Shit." Spencer said very loudly. There had been two requests she had told her sister. She didn't want to see Toby or Renee, and she didn't want to have any contact from them. Clearly she had failed her mission.

"I'm sorry… On the bright side it's not like they're requiring you to stay with Renee, so when you want the visit to end it can end."

"It's not that simple Em, when you have kids… It's different."

"I'm sure Melissa will understand…"

"I'm not sure she will. She's the main reason I have to see Renee in the first place. Curse her and her debating skills."

"I'll stay here until they leave… Just to make sure you don't end up burning the house down or something."

"Wow Em, thanks. I'm glad you have that much faith in me that you can't even trust me alone with my own child and sister."

"I never said that! I just want to make sure it doesn't happen."

Around an hour later, there was a knock on the door. Emily stood up and answered it.

"Auntie Em!" Spencer heard Renee exclaim.

"Hey kiddo!" Emily said with a smile on her face.

"I missed you!" Renee said as Emily picked her up.

"I missed you too Ren. Do you want to come see your mommy?"

Renee nodded as Emily and Melissa walked inside. Spencer, still curled up on the couch, tried her best to look happy when her sister walked in.

"Mommy!" Renee said when she saw Spencer. When she saw her child, it was hard not to smile.

"Hi honey…" Spencer said as Emily placed Renee down on the couch next to her.

Renee moved closer to her mother on the couch. Not knowing what else to do, the small girl wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I missed you." She said in a small voice.

"I know baby… I know."


	6. See You Again

**Ughhh. I'm a horrible person. I had an entire two weeks to write and I'm just posting this now. Anyways... Enjoy. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: See You Again <strong>

All too soon, Melissa was prying a sleeping Renee from Spencer's arms.

"Melissa, if you want to leave her here tonight… It's fine."

"Spencer… I can't make you do that."

"I'm serious. People have been telling me for the past month that she needs me around. And… Well… I guess I'm starting to believe them."

"Alright, Spence. If you're sure about this. I'll come back tomorrow… Just to make sure." Melissa left a quick kiss on Renee's cheek, before slowly walking out the door.

A few minutes later, Renee awoke with a small yawn. Seeing that she was still comfortably nestled on her mother's lap, she smiled.

"Did you have a nice nap sweetie?" Spencer asked when she saw her daughter had awakened.

Renee nodded. "I'm hungry though…" She said in her small voice, what Spencer sometimes referred to as her 'fairy voice'.

"Well let's go see what grandma has to eat then." It was still strange, referring to her mother as 'Grandma'. The novelty had yet to wear off, and Spencer had a feeling, even in twenty years when she would probably be preparing to wait for her own grandchildren, she still wouldn't be used to the idea.

Spencer picked up her daughter, and the two went to look in the cabinets.

"Mommy?" Renee said.

"Yes, sweetie?" Spencer replied.

"Why… Why did you leave?" Spencer could hear the quiver in her daughter's voice. Sighing, she chose her next words very carefully.

"I… We…" She paused, and then came up with an idea. "You know how on your favorite show, _Sofia the First_, when Sofia and Amber don't agree on something, and then they don't talk to each other for a while?"

Renee nodded. "But what does that have to do with you and Daddy?"

"Well, honey," Spencer said as she found what she was looking for in the cabinet, "We didn't agree on something, and we thought it was best for all of us if I came here for a little bit, so that we could figure things out before we tried to put our ideas together again."

"But I miss you. And Daddy misses you." Renee looked at her mother with her large eyes, which were quickly filling with tears.

"Oh no no baby… No crying. It's all going to be okay, I promise!" Spencer said, hugging her daughter.

"I just want everything to go back to the way it was! I want you to come home, and I want Daddy to smile again, and I don't want the kids at school to keep making fun of me for crying, and I want to be able to go to the park on Saturdays and have picnics and play on the swings, and… and…" Renee curled her tiny fists in anger. Pushing her mother away, she slid off of the stool she was sitting on, ran back to the couch, and flopped down on her stomach, her face buried in the pillow.

"Ren... Baby..."

"No! No no no!"

Spencer, having seen her daughter act like this numerous times before, knew exactly how to deal with it. She set the box of pasta down on the counter, walked over to the couch, and began rubbing Renee's back.

"Sweetie, listen to me… Everything's going to be okay." _I hope… _

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Renee and Spencer, Toby had made his way inside the house and was listening to the conversation between his daughter and his.. What were they?

"God, we really want you back," he spoke in a hushed whisper to avoid being heard.

But what did any of this mean? Did 'everything's going to be okay' mean Spencer was coming home? Or did it mean she was going to make a decision and move out for good?

Not willing to hear the rest of the conversation for fear of further heartbreak, Toby slowly exited the room, and walked outside. Unlocking his phone, he dialed a number that was all too familiar.

"Hello?" Aria's voice answered.

"Aria, I need your help."

"Toby? What's wrong?"

" I need answers…"

"Toby, if this is about Spencer, just ask her. I'm not getting in the middle of this."

"Aria, she's cut off communication to me. The most I'm going to get out of her is whatever she tells Melissa."

"Okay." Aria sighed into the phone, "I'll help you. Only because this is causing me just as much stress as you."

"Thanks, Aria. I owe you one."

"No need. Just... Promise me..."

At that moment, there was movement in the bushes behind the Hastings' residence. Toby turned around, and was met by a figure in a black hoodie.

"I thought… I thought you were gone."

There was a crash outside. Then, complete silence. Spencer's phone buzzed.

_You broke his heart, now it's time for me to break yours. Kisses, -A. _


	7. Come On Skinny Love Just Last The Year

**Chapter Six: Come On Skinny Love Just Last The Year**

Three days.

Three measly little days.

And there was still no word.

Everything in Rosewood seemed to come to a halt. Hanna stopped planning her extravagant wedding. Aria stopped consistently worrying about the color she was painting Rosaline's walls. Emily barely focused on coaching the swim team. Alison's designs were turning out like shit. As for Caleb and Ezra, they spent each day looking. And every night, they all gathered at Spencer's.

Renee had gone to live with Melissa. It was undeniable, the worry in that child's eyes when her aunt had come to bring her home. The resemblance between her and Spencer was unmistakable, even if she had Toby's hair color and his eyes.

As for Spencer, she had locked herself in her bedroom and was refusing to come out. Aria, being the best friend she was, took permanent residence in the guest room, disregarding everything that everyone was saying about how she shouldn't be putting stress on herself at this stage in her pregnancy.

"Spence, you have to come out eventually. You're not allowed to starve yourself." She said the morning of the fourth day.

"Go away, Aria. I don't want to talk to you."

Aria sighed and walked back downstairs, where everyone else was still sitting, extremely tired from the night before.

"Well, I think it's time to break out the big guns. Frosting and a spoon." Hanna said when she saw the look on Aria's face.

"Han, you have to stop stealing all of Spencer's best lines." Emily retorted as Aria flopped down on the couch next to her.

"Sorry! I can't help it!"

"Guys. Focus." Ali said, returning from the bathroom. "Spencer's obviously going crazy. Frosting's not going to help."

"Then what is, Ali. Why don't you enlighten us because you're oh-so-smart?" Aria replied with a glare.

"Simple." Alison walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a bottle. "You don't cure a broken heart and a crazy mind with sugar. You do it with pure liquid gold."

"Vodka? That's your brilliant idea?" Caleb said, looking up from his spot on the floor where Hanna was lying on his lap.

"Yeah, Ali, speaking as someone who was hooked on that stuff… It's dangerous. Like, even more dangerous than A." Hanna agreed.

"Look, do we want no contact with Spencer, or do we want drunk Spence- I see your point."

None of them had heard Spencer come downstairs.

"Ali, throw me the bottle."

The six friends turned around to see the tall, brunette girl standing at the bottom of the stairs, wrapped in a blanket, and wearing a shirt that she'd clearly been sleeping in for the past few days. Said shirt could only belong to one person, and they all knew what that meant.

"Spencer… Don't do anything you're going to regret." Aria said, looking at her best friend.

"I'm not going to regret this, Aria. I've been doing a lot of thinking. And now it's time to just let all of those thoughts go." With that, she walked over to Alison and snatched the bottle out of her hand. "Bottoms up." And she drank.

Hours later, everyone except Aria had left. Spencer was curled up on the couch nursing a bottle of water, while Aria was rereading _The Great Gatsby_ for the six-hundredth time. Suddenly, the phone rang.

"I'll get it." Aria said, hurriedly getting off the couch and grabbing the phone. "Hello?" She asked

Spencer could faintly make out Ezra's voice on the other end of the line.

"Uh huh…. Uh huh…. Ezra, I can't just keep this from- Okay. Fine. I won't say anything… Uh huh. I love you too. See you tomorrow." Aria hung up the phone and put it down on the counter. "You hungry, Spence?"

"Aria, what was so important that you apparently can't say anything?" Spencer said with a glare, her hand slowly inching towards the half-empty bottle of vodka sitting on the coffee table.

"It's nothing, okay? Just some personal stuff."

"Two things, Aria. I know when you're lying to me, and I can tell when you're trying to cover up the fact that you're lying to me."

"Spence, can we not have this conversation now… Please…"

"Fine. And the answer's no. I'm not hungry."

"Well I'm going to make dinner… I'll leave the leftovers in the fridge in case you want something later."

"Thanks, Aria. But I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"No problem. Have you spoken to your mom recently?"

"No, why?"

"She called this morning. She's worried about you, Spencer."

"Well it's her own damn fault for leaving on business right after I got here."

"Look, Spence, just call her in the morning, okay?"

"Yeah, I will. Night, Aria."

"Night, Spencer."

With that, Spencer grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter and walked upstairs to her bedroom. After taking a quick shower, she got in bed. Feeling the empty space beside her where Toby should be, she went through a process she'd been going through the countless nights prior. Rearranging her pillows, she made a pile of the spares at the end of her bed. Settling back under the covers, she fell into a restless, uneasy sleep, met by dark hallways with no ends, and locked doors to keep her from finding what she was looking for.


	8. But I Never Told You

**Hey y'all, sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. It's mainly fluff and a filler chapter, but I promise, I'll be getting back to the nitty-gritty plot stuff right away! **

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven: I Never Told You<strong>

_Finally, that night, she was able to unlock one of the doors. It might've been the influence of the vodka, but either way, she'd opened it. Inside, however, was a memory she'd hoped to forget forever. _

_It was about five months before her wedding. She should've known something was up when she hadn't gotten the normal, 'I just want to lie on the couch and do nothing all day' cramps, plus her period was late. _

_Which is exactly how she ended up in the doctor's office, alone, one morning. There was no way she was going to put the added stress on anyone, and if she was actually pregnant, then she'd cross that bridge when she got to it. For now, it was her secret to keep. _

"_Spencer Hastings?" The nurse called her name, pulling her out of her thoughts. _

"_That's me." She said, standing up and following the nurse back to the examination room. _

"_I understand you're here to find out if you're pregnant?" Nurse… Heather, that was her name, said, as Spencer sat down in one of the chairs. _

"_That's right." _

"_Alright. I'm going to ask you to hop up on the table while I get the ultrasound machine set up." _

_Spencer did as she was told. Heather lifted her shirt and squeezed the ultrasound gel onto her stomach. Moments later, a very small, faint, fuzzy image appeared on the screen, and the tiniest sound of a heartbeat, which wasn't her own, could be heard. _

"_Well… Congratulations. I'll give you a few minutes to process this news." Heather said, turning off the ultrasound machine and handing Spencer a towel. With that, she left the room. _

_Spencer sat there for a few minutes, in utter shock. _

"_This… This can't be possible." She whispered. But it was. And she forced herself to believe it. _

_When she left the doctor's, loaded with pamphlets and suggested medications, she got in the car, and drove to the first place she could think of. Her mother's house. Toby was out of town for the weekend, and this was something better told face to face. Within ten minutes, she was there, and walking in on her mom and Melissa drinking coffee. _

"_Spencer? Why are you here?" Melissa asked. _

"_Well… I have some good news. Obviously you heard about the engagement, but this is different." _

"_What? Are you officially buying your first house together? You got a job?" _

"_No, Melissa. That's not it at all. I'm… Well… Melissa, Mom, I'm pregnant." _

_Her mother's jaw dropped. Melissa set down her coffee, then stood up with a look on her face like she was going to slap Spencer. Instead, the two older Hastings women came over and embraced her. _

"_Spencer! That's amazing. Congratulations." Her mother said. _

"_Thanks, Mom. It's too early to tell the gender, but I know that your grandchild is going to love it here. Same goes for you Melissa- Only it's your niece or nephew." _

_As the days progressed, the symptoms of Spencer's pregnancy became more apparent, but she still couldn't bring herself to tell Toby. To avoid any and all possible awkward confrontations, she packed her bags and moved home. He didn't quite understand why, but she told him it was for the best, since they would be living together in just a few short months. _

_However, about a month after she discovered she was pregnant, Spencer awoke one morning with a sharp pain in her lower back. After moving around a bit, the pain hadn't gone away. She finally got up, and went to go get Advil. As soon as she entered the bathroom, she felt the pain again, this time in her lower abdomen. Thinking subconsciously, she pulled a pad out of her cabinet, and went to the bathroom. She could've sworn that as she was sitting there, the pain was getting worse. _

_A week later, the signs all became clear. There was no baby. Spencer wasn't going to be a mother. She wasn't hiding anything from Toby anymore, other than the fact that she had been pregnant and she'd had a miscarriage. _

_Nothing, not even the surprise that came five months after their wedding, when Spencer found out that she was once again, pregnant, could make her forget the terrible secret she was keeping from her husband. _

_But maybe, now was the time to change that. _


	9. But I, I've Got A War In My Mind

**I apologize in advance for this chapter. It hurt, to write it (Hence why it took me so long.) But I promise, things are looking up. I'm almost halfway done, and there's still so much left to happen! **

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight: But I, I've Got A War In My Mind<strong>

_Now only time could tell. _

_The mysterious lead on what had happened to Toby that Caleb and Ezra had found turned out to be a setup. No one had told this to Spencer, as they didn't want to get her hopes up. _

_But maybe they should have. Maybe that would've prevented her from making the mistake she was about to make, or at least stopped her from continually getting drunk before nightfall. _

_Nothing, however, matched the regret she felt afterwards._

One evening, about a month after Ali had created the monster known as drunk Spencer, she found herself standing outside a door that she had only been outside one time previously. Raising a hand, she cautiously knocked.

The door opened, and a familiar face appeared.

"Spencer?" Wren asked. "What... What're you doing here?"

"Well, you know… I was in the area. Figured I might as well stop by."

"You sure that's all?" He said, as she walked past him into the apartment.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." She replied, sitting down on the couch.

"Spencer, what's really going on here."

"I just told you." She said with a fake pout.

"I know you, Spencer… There has to be a valid reason why you came over here, obviously drunk, when you're married and have a child."

"Maybe I made a mistake in marrying him."

"If you had- Wait a minute."

"I left them. I needed to be a free woman."

"And how is that treating you?"

Spencer laughed, the drunkenness becoming more and more apparent.

"Surprisingly well, actually." She inched closer to him on the couch, and drew herself up onto her knees. Sliding her arms around Wren's neck, she whispered, "I've always had a thing for guys with accents."

"Spencer, I can't do this. You're drunk… You're a mother…"

She laughed. "Who says I'm drunk?" She crashed her lips to his, and pulled him onto the couch with her.

_What happened next was nothing but pure lust and sin. There was a feeling of longing, of love, and of loss. Every minute was a reminder of what could've been in the past, had there never been the added barriers of Melissa and Toby. The only regret either one had was having to have kept all the feelings hidden for so long, and only now, when Spencer was accepting that Toby was probably dead, were they able to share such a passionate moment. _

The next morning, Spencer awoke with a pounding headache, and no recollection of what had happened the night before. It wasn't until she saw the tangle of clothes on the floor, and heard Wren breathing next to her that she realized… And started having an internal panic attack.

_Shit._ She thought, _What stupid part of me made me think this was a good- _

Then she remembered. Toby… Was most likely dead. While a part of her was still hopeful, she knew what A was capable of. With a sigh, she rolled over and fished her phone out of the pocket of her jeans. Twelve unread messages. Three from Aria, three from Em, three from Hanna, and three from Ali. Noticing the time, she quickly pulled herself together, and before Wren had woken up, she was gone.

Twenty minutes later, she was sitting at the Brew, looking very much like her usual self, with a cup of coffee in her hands, facing her friends.

"Spencer!" Hanna said, nudging her friend in the arm

"Huh- What- Oh, yeah, sure…"

"Spence, I'm sorry… About the vodka." Ali said, an honest look of apology on her face.

"But never mind that, where the hell were you last night? I tried calling you but your phone went straight to voicemail!" Emily said, walking over with a plate of scones for the five of them.

"I was taking care of some things, Em… It was legal stuff that required my full attention."

"You were dealing with it at ten last night?"

"It was work related. Okay? What, did you think I was off getting drunk or something?"

Aria gave her a look.

"Spence, I promise, you can tell the truth. We're not gonna… Well, I'm not going to judge you."

"Look, guys, can we please just talk about something else? I didn't get much sleep last night."

The other four girls exchanged a glance. Either she was hiding something, she was nursing a hangover, or both.

"Okay. Well, Spence, I hope you don't mind, but I've gone back to planning my wedding." Hanna said, quickly changing the subject.

"It's fine, Han. You and Caleb deserve to be happy."

"Well, Spencer… If that's how you're feeling right now, I have something to say." Emily reached into her purse, and pulled out a box.

"Em…?" Ali looked at her girlfriend with confusion.

"Shush, Ali. Let me do the talking for once." Emily paused, and then started again, "Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. When I met you all those yeajrs ago, I guess you could say it was love at first sight. Then, when you went missing, I was heart broken. No one understood quite what I was feeling. I felt awful, knowing that things had changed so much when you came back. And I was in disbelief the entire time you were in jail after being accused of killing Mona. But now you're here. And we're happy. Finally. So, Alison…" She paused again, got down on one knee, and opened the ring box, "Will you marry me?"

Aria, Hanna, and Spencer all sat there in shock. Alison, after allowing the shock to wear off, smiled, nodded, and whispered, "Yes, Emily. I'll marry you."

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><p><strong>I promise guys, to clear up any<strong> **confusion, Spencer's actions in this chapter were purely an act of the affects of alcohol on her brain :) don't worry, I'm 120% team Spoby. And you shall see that soon :D **


	10. Will You Still Love Me

**To clear up confusion from last chapter- No, this is not a Wrencer story. **

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Will You Still Love Me When I'm Not Young and Beautiful? <strong>

The events of the past month had taken a toll on everyone. Not only did all of the girls appear to have an older, more worn down look to them, Aria was quickly approaching her due date. Every spare minute was focused on getting the apartment ready for Rosaline's arrival. And when they weren't focusing on that, they were planning weddings. They had finally settled on just having a double wedding, since knowing Rosewood, something would go wrong and at least one of them would end up having to fight for their life. Granted, according to Aria, it would be "hilarious to see Alison and Hanna fighting in a wedding dress".

Then, there was Spencer. She was beginning to regret ever taking Alison's advice and messing with vodka, and had ceased that method of pain relief. Knowing that there was more she should've told the girls, one morning she sat them down for a chat.

"Okay… I lied."

"Wait, Spencer, you can't just start with that!" Hanna said, looking up from her notebook, where she was carelessly sketching out wedding dresses.

"Fine, Hanna. I lied about where I was when all of you were looking for me. Happy now?"

"Spence…?" Aria looked at her best friend.

"I… I was drunk… And I wasn't thinking." She looked down at her phone, where she'd changed the lock screen to a picture from the day Renee was born, "I… I slept with Wren."

"You did- WHAT?" The other four girls said in unison, and Hanna spit out the sip of soda she had just taken.

"Spencer, why- Why would you do that?" Aria looked at her in shock.

"I don't know… I was drunk… Toby's probably dead…"

"Mommy!" A voice said from behind them, and they turned around to see Melissa standing in the doorway, and Renee running towards Spencer.

"Hey baby girl," Spencer said, smiling. "Sorry I haven't called, Melissa… Life's been hectic."

"Understood. She'd been asking about you, and I figured you'd all be here."

Spencer pulled Renee onto her lap, and the girls continued their conversation about the wedding.

"Well, it looks like we've just about got an idea for everything… Except for one slight issue." Ali said, looking over her notes.

"And what's that, Ali?" Aria said, looking up from her phone.

"Well, it's obvious that you and Spencer are going to be our bridesmaids. But… None of us have younger, female family members… Wait! That's it!" Ali looked at Renee. "Ren, do you want to be our flower girl?"

Renee turned to look at her mother. "Can I, Mommy?"

"Of course, honey. Tell Auntie Ali!"

Renee smiled, and turned back to Alison. "Yes! I want to be your flower girl, Auntie Ali." She paused, "Do I get to wear a pretty dress?" She looked from Spencer, to Ali, to Emily, to Hanna, to Aria. All of whom laughed.

"Well, do I?" She pouted, which only made the five of them laugh more.

"Ren, honey, we're sorry for laughing. Of course you get to wear a pretty dress." Spencer said, reassuring her daughter.

"Yay!" She smiled, and Spencer couldn't help smiling along with her. This is just what she needed, some quality time with her friends, her sister, and her daughter.

Too soon, however, their girls morning was drawing to a close. Aria had to rush off to do some last minute baby shopping, Hanna had to get back to work, and Ali and Emily were going shopping… Apparently.

Spencer, Melissa, and Renee moved over to the couch, where Renee curled up between her mother and her aunt, and began coloring in the book her aunt had brought along.

"Well, Melissa, it's been awhile since we've had any sister bonding time."

"You're right, Spencer. And I promise, things should be getting back to normal soon."

"Or as normal as they can be in this town. Anyways, how are Katie and James?"

"They're wonderful. I have a feeling Katie's taking after her aunt. And James is the spitting image of his father."

"That's amazing, Melissa. You know, for a while there, I was scared that you were going to just be the cool aunt."

"Wow, Spence. I'm so glad my little sister has that much faith in my relationship skills."

"Why else would I still be around if it weren't to annoy you endlessly?"

Melissa smiled, looking out the window. Suddenly, she raised an eyebrow.

"Spencer, isn't that Caleb's car outside?" She pointed to where a car was sitting idly, and the driver was clearly motioning for the sisters to come outside.

"Uh… Yeah. What does he want? Hanna left…"

Spencer took Renee's hand, and the three walked outside. There, getting out of the back seat of Caleb's car, was…

"Toby…" Spencer sighed, and all the tension from the past two months disappeared. She let go of Renee's hand and ran to him. Throwing her arms around his neck, she hugged him so tightly that she thought her arms were going to break.

"Don't ever scare me like that again. And I promise… From now on, it'll just be the three of us." She whispered into his chest.

He lifted her chin so she was looking directly at him.

"I love you so much, Spencer." With that, he kissed her, and all was…

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><p><strong>Hehe... Oops? Cliff hanger... I'm sorry... I love you guys... But the story's not over yet! <strong>


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